sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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