the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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