I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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