trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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