I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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