I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize