I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
