Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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