so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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