He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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