It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
