If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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