so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
