Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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