you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize