I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
