Are we in a gay sports bar?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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