he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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