isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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