PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
