what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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