Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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