Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
