I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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