My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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