I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
