I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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