we're blogging at a bar
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So vagazzling was a success
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
