Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
