I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
