hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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