I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
