I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
