Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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