He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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