We won't sleep together?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Randomize
