Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
