Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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