i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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