Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Text me some of your sweat
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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