So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
