Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
