I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize