The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
