do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
