I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
