JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
