Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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