But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
