Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
