there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Four minutes until I can fart!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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