Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
