this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
