if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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