Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
