4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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