We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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