Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
