He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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