; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
