I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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