glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
