You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
