Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize